Akatsuki's Wardrobe Change (One shot)
by 33001
Summary: Find out what happens when the Akatsuki organization goes through a sudden wardrobe change.


This one unusual day, the Akatsuki wakes up to a sudden drastic change in their organization; specifically, their official new wardrobe.

"GREEN SPANDEX SUITS?!" The Uchiha made a mad dash across the hallway, presenting himself wearing the horrible green stretch fabric that really forms up from the figure of his body.

"I'm dressed in it too." Kisame frowned, pulling away a blanket which concealed his shameful suit. Before carrying on with his bitch it, the Uchiha let out a scream that echoed throughout the entire cave. He ran to and fro the entire place in search for the cloak he had always wore upon entering the organization. The rest were found either isolating themselves in their own rooms or sulking around the dark corners of the cave. Itachi sneered at everyone causing them to immediately stand on both feet and join in the search. Long hours later with no sight of their cloaks, they finally gave up on it and helplessly sprawled their fatigue bodies across the floor and on the couch. Zetsu fondly spun around in amusement as he watched his reflection in the mirror; After all, green did suit him anyway. As for Kisame, he was quite insecure of the clothing which made him look like some sort of 'Captain Planet'. The puppeteer redeemed himself from the horrible fashion by conveniently wearing an large apron with pink translucent ruffles over the suit.

"This is blasphemy! Who the f*ck trashed our cloaks for this piece of sh*t?" Hidan broke in the silence with his complaints.

"Well, I'm so sorry we all have to face this drastic change-un." Deidara muttered.

"You're the cause of this?!"

"No you idiot! I was speaking in pity on behalf of all the members-un."

Hidan carried on with trying to rip off the fabric which tightly stuck onto his masculine figure. The Uchiha comforted himself by shoving an ice pack on his forehead. Just then, his phone rang. He angrily stood, stomping his way over to the center table to pick up the call; It was the purple snake b*tch phoning him.

"Look annoying b*stard, please cut me some slack 'cause I've got a marching band throwing a parade down my *ss. So, if you'd like kindly excuse me for FOREVER- "

"How's the lovely wardrobe, darling? Those were made from considerably famous designers, y'know? Take extra good care of it!" Orochimaru delightfully hissed, ignoring Itachi's screams of rage. _That gay f*cker-_ Itachi seethed in anger, finally smashing his phone to the ground.

"Was that a puppet of mine?" Sasori's head peered through the door in concern. The Uchiha shook his head as a sign of '_no_' which saved the puppeteer from any extra terror.

"Still wearing the suit?"

Sasori took a step inside with a bathrobe on.

"I'm not wearing that damn suit even if it were the last piece of clothing on Earth!" He declared. The puppeteer then left shortly sensing that Itachi was drifting off to sleep. The moment he took a step out of the room, a deep silence fell on everyone upon seeing Sasori dressed in the one and only bathrobe found around. The red head stared squinted and stared blankly at their straight faces before the realization hit him.

"Uhh, look guys. It's not like I'm turning my back on you whatsoever-" He spoke on amused despair while scratching his head. Without hesitation, they all tackled him to the ground.

"Don't make me shove the feather duster up your wooden *ss, puppet boy!" Kisame threatened.

"D-Do that, and say good bye to Tibby!" His lips curved into a smirk, still trying to resist the members forcefully pinning him down.

"NO! Not Tibby!" Kisame flailed in horror, thinking of all the things the devious puppeteer could do to his valued clown fish plushie which accompanies him to bed every single night.

Jashin-fearing Hidan tightly gripped onto his rosary, babbling out non-sense chants and prayers.

"Jashin-sama! May you remove this bewitched suit off of me! I am not worthy to serve you garbed in this piece of sh*t! Forgive me for my blasphemy!"

Deidara tossed a clay bomb to the pile of bathrobe-hungry members. The harmless explosion managed to blow off all of them from Sasori.

"Yes! Its finally mine-un!" Deidara exclaimed as he held the robe up in the air, but before slipping on it, the puppeteer managed to retrieve the it back.

"Eat sh*t, blondie!" Sasori's eyes flung wide open with a psychotic look on his face. A pair of hands snatched the robe away shortly.

"No, You eat shit Pinocchio!" Kakuzu gave a tremendous laugh. Meanwhile, in a dark corner sat a frustrated Kisame, mumbling in depression.

"It's okay Tibby. No one's gonna hurt you." He utterly sobbed stroking the plushie which was locked in his arms.

"Tobi is a good boy!" The naive man clapped his hands in excitement, seeing everyone battle for the robe.

"HELLO LOVELY PEOPLE OF THE UNIVERSE! My, my. It's great to be back!" The feminine-like Orochimaru arrived m waving a white handkerchief across the air. Everyone paused, eyeing on the purple snake b*tch. Orochimaru's shifty gaze moved from one member to another. Kakuzu barely got a chance to wear the bathrobe, same goes to Deidara which madly pinned Sasori to the floor. The puppeteer shivered on the hard cold ground.

"What a ruckus.. I'll go make some tea!" Orochimaru gaped before making his way to the kitchen.

"Well if it isn't our fashion consultant-un." Deidara groanedsarcastically.

Itachi shouldered the door open and screamed, "Face your fury bastard!" then tossing a kettle full of hot water straight to Orochimaru's face, resulting all the make-up and foundation to run down his face.

"My pores! My effin' pores!" Orochimaru shrieked.

"Yeah, that serves you well! Good day, purple snake b*tch!" Itachi snorted, pointing towards the door. The feminine-like b*stard ran out the cave, utterly sobbing from the neglect. Hours later, they all had a towel strapped onto their bodies; each one sipping tea from white dainty porcelain cups.

"Dono? Wasn't Hiruko good enough to conceal you-un?"

Sasori's eyes enlightened. "Right! I haven't paid my baby a visit for quite a while!" He agreed racing off to his room. Slamming the door open, he froze in mid-step allowing his jaw to drop. Hiruko, an avid favorite of his from his precious collection, was also garbed in the same green spandex suit.

"JESUS CHRIST! TO THINK WE WERE DONE WITH THIS!"

-END-


End file.
